In Which Coles Online Inadvertently Helps Me To Observe Dry July….

I like a glass of decent red wine or seven. The older I get, the more I realise that this is not a good way of managing my health, regardless of what wine writers say about the various natural chemicals in wine preventing or curing all sorts of illnesses.

I do know, given that we are in a Pandemic and my area, whilst not in a formal lockdown right now, is adjacent to several suburbs which have been locked down again, that this might not be the best time to decide to impose limitations on myself in terms of drinking. However, there are some good reasons why it would be a suitable time. After all, it is not like I can drink in a restaurant, or in a bar, or in any company outside my home. And the only friends I have within close proximity who might want to come over and share a bottle of wine with me are in lockdown suburbs.

So I decided after some wine on Sunday night that I would unofficially observe Dry July, starting two days early.

This is not without its difficulties, which come mostly in the shape of my various friends and colleagues.

Take Tuesday night, the eve of Dry July, when one of my friends called me excitedly to tell me that Coles Online were selling Penfolds Bin 28 Kalimna Shiraz for $15 per bottle. (Recommended retail price is about $50.)

Whilst I have never ordered from an online grocery website before, I thought this offer might be too good to be true, but that it was worth checking out.

And lo and behold!  It was true, according to the Coles Online website.  So I ordered 5 bottles (the maximum) and committed to being home between 8am and 2pm Friday so that those could be delivered.

Yesterday, to his dismay, my friend got an email from Coles saying that they were out of stock.  Soon after that however, I got an email saying that my order was being prepared and that it would be delivered between 11.35am and 12.35pm on Friday.

Being gracious about it, I told my friend that he could have two or three of my bottles at cost if they in fact did not get cancelled too.

Not long later, I got an email similar to that which my friend got, blandly (and insincerely) apologising for it being out of stock and that the wine would not be forthcoming.

This morning, regardless, I got two texts advising me that the order was on its way. I checked with their call centre, which checked and admitted that oops, their automated systems were wrong about the upcoming delivery.

My friend has vowed not to shop at Coles again, he is so angry and disappointed.

As for me?  I wasted the time spent to register for Coles Online and to place the order, and I am not intending to waste my time ever placing any more orders with Coles Online, as yes, it was too good to be true which meant that Coles Online published something very untrue on their website.

Bland apologies like that do not really cut it. If Coles really wanted to make me feel less aggrieved, they could offer some remedy. They can afford it. However, they cannot be bothered.

On the other hand, I do not have those five very tempting bottles of Bin 28 in my home. And I am so angry at Coles, which runs one of only two bottle shops within walking distance of my home, that I am not inclined to walk there and buy any wine for quite a while.

So thank you Coles, for making it easier for me to observe Dry July.

Published by Ernest Zanatta

Narrow minded Italian Catholic Conservative Peasant from Footscray.

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