Why the Cleveland Browns? Why not the Dallas Cowboys (who have a famous team of cheerleaders) or the Green Bay Packers or the New England Patriots? If one is going to root for (to use that quaint American word they use instead of ‘barrack’) an NFL team, something which is not exactly normal for an Australian born and raised in the western suburbs of Melbourne, then why not choose a team which actually has a history of winning.
After all, I do not have any links to Cleveland or to Ohio, aside from watching the occasional episode of the Drew Carey Show sometime in the 1990s. I did not even actually know where Ohio was in the USA until I read The Pioneers, David McCullough’s engrossing account of the start of the westward migration of Americans in the early 1800s. (It also, sadly, was the last of McCullough’s books – all of which are worth reading.). But I think I had already chosen the Browns as my team before that.
To be honest, I support the Browns out of sheer perversity. As a supporter of the Footscray Football Club (aka the Western Bulldogs), I am used to feeling the love for an underachieving sporting team. Indeed, the 2016 premiership miracle has so sated my appetite for success that I will feel the warm inner glow from that year even if we do not ever win another flag for the rest of my life.
The Cleveland Browns have not won any championship since 1964 – before the Super Bowl era. Nor have they ever played in the Super Bowl. You can tell, as a Bulldogs supporter, that this resonates with me.
Their old stadium was described as a ‘factory of sadness’. The suffering of Browns fans is alluded to in countless TV shows and movies. Memes abound, such as the one with a despairing Browns fan and the caption ‘I once left my 3 Browns tickets on my windshield. I came back and there were 9.’ or the one with two hot women Browns fans ‘Why are females Browns fans cool to date? Cause they’re not expecting a ring in the future!’
I keep the Browns app on my phone so that I can check their progress each NFL season.
Given that it is coming up to Super Bowl soon, I opened the app this evening to read about the Browns’ 2024-25 season, and it was truly bad! They went 3-18 – which even for the Browns is a pretty poor year.
The Browns last made the playoffs (American term for finals) in 2023. They lost in the first week.
Of interest to me at the time was that I received an email from the Melbourne Browns supporter group (I did register for this several years ago) inviting me to attend a pub (Bell’s Family Hotel in South Melbourne) which was playing the playoff game and watch the game with other local Browns supporters.
I did not go, mostly because it was early on a Sunday morning, and I prefer not to start drinking alcohol until after 12pm, but I regret it now, particularly as it was the only invitation to a gathering of local Browns supporters I have received to this point in time. I suppose they only convene when the Browns make the playoffs, as I assume the pubs around Melbourne who show gridiron games live don’t bother to show Browns games unless they are in the playoffs.
So I will not be going to watch a Browns game at a pub anytime real soon. This is a bit of a pity, as I have accumulated heaps of fan gear – t-shirt, hoodie, and jersey (with the name of a player who left them around the same time I bought the jersey at a deep discount from Rebel Sport) – and would love an excuse to wear the gear.
Lost For Words! 