Apocalocyntosis

The Ancient Roman philosopher Seneca was not quite as stoic as reputation made him out to be. He could not help but feel a degree of spite and vengefulness, as evidenced when he celebrated the death of his enemy, the Emperor Cladius, which he welcomed with spiteful glee.

The evidence of this is the short satire Apocalocyntosis. This word, which to my eyes is more Greek than Roman in origin, means Pumpkinfication. This is a pun on the term Apotheosis – which is the Latin for Deification – turning into a God. The Roman Senate, in its spineless era of the Julio-Claudian dynasty (as opposed to its later spineless eras), had a habit of declaring dead emperors to be Gods – deifying them in death rather than defying them in life.

Claudius was no exemption – he got deified, although Seneca, with the protection of his pupil Nero now on the imperial throne, felt safe enough to assert that the late Emperor had undergone pumpkinfication instead, much like the carriage in Cinderella does in the Disney cartoon when the clock strikes midnight.

In my intellectually self indulgent way, I did elude to Seneca in my retirement speech 18 months ago, where I claimed that day was my own apocalocyntosis.

Eighteen months on, I think that pumpkinfication in my own life has taken on a more literal and practical aspect.

For the first time in my life, I am attempting to grow pumpkins. They do take up a lot of space and attention, so I have not tried them before. Besides, I have only a passing fondness for pumpkins, and much pretty to attempt tomato growing most of the time.

This year, I got some pumpkin seeds (butternut variety) from my mother and planted them in some polystyrene boxes left over from our wine making efforts in March. Once they started growing large enough, I transplanted the most viable seedlings into large pots and deposited them in various corners of my garden.

Apparently the vine puts down new roots in the soil as it grows, so starting them off in large pots is not going to stunt them.

So now I have six healthy pumpkin vines making their way around my garden.

It’s still early days, but if I am successful, I might buy some giant pumpkin seeds online and try, next year, to grow some of those giant 50kg pumpkins which require much cow poo and water.

I’m also making a similar serious attempt to grow cucumbers – a salad vegetable I have never had any great luck with. This year, things seem to be going much better. I have three vines which are actually flowering and have baby cucumbers already showing.

I know that it is cheaper to simply buy veggies from the supermarket, but doing this is much more fun.