Collingwood Vs Carlton? The Stuff Of Nightmares

Several years ago, I was in the lift on the way back from lunch at AFL finals time and happened to make some Collingwood jokes.

By the time I had reached my desk, my phone was ringing. It was one of the HR Managers.

He said: “Ernest, what were you saying in the lift?”

I said: “Some Collingwood jokes.”

“Some effing idiot has just complained about you to HR.”

Happily, making jokes about a football team and its supporters is still the sort of thing which you can get away with at work, although I would not dare to try such a stunt in any pub north of Victoria Parade and east of Smith Street.

Which is a good way to segue into the fact that it is now footy finals time. Collingwood are through to the preliminary finals and Carlton are into a semi. If both teams win through over the next fortnight, they will face off in the Grand Final for the first time since 1981.

I find this the stuff of nightmares.

One of the major joys of the modern AFL era of football has been to witness the regular suffering of Collingwood and Carlton supporters. Given that my team, the Western Bulldogs, has enjoyed very little success (2016 has given me a warm inner glow which will last the rest of my life), the suffering of the supporters of the very successful AFL teams like Carlton, Collingwood, and Essendon, brings joy and malicious glee to my heart.

That this year looks like being a Collingwood premiership makes me a little sad.

Mind you, I would be very petty and churlish if I were not to be happy for Collingwood captain Darcy Moore. He is the son of former captain and Brownlow medalist Peter Moore. He seems to be a very sensible and likeable chap, and I do think that if he were to be a premiership captain, going one better than his dad, I would be happy for him.

Of course, with my team out of the running, I am more interested in the Brownlow medal, and hoping that Bulldogs captain Marcus Bontempelli wins. That would be, along with his 2016 premiership, a crowning achievement on his great career and cement him as one of the Footscray Football Club’s all time greats.